“Are You Not Dating, or Can't You?”
Several environmental factors contribute to young people's no-dating status, and it has been revealed that they are vicariously satisfied through dating programs.
Young people often do not voluntarily date or have no experience in dating. At the same time, the popularity of reality dating programs is increasing. An analysis shows that young people who are difficult to date tend to satisfy their emotions by gaining vicarious satisfaction through dating programs.
A survey of students conducted by Yonsei University’s media In a May, “The Yonsei Chunchu,” found that only 38.3% of the respondents said they were dating, while 26.7% said they had never been on a date. According to the “Youth’s Love, Marriage, and Gender Awareness” survey released by the Korea Population, Health, and Welfare Association in September 2022, 680 out of 1,047 unmarried young people (65%) were not dating, and 70% of them said they were not voluntarily dating.
The results of the survey on “Love Experience and Perception” conducted by “Channel PNU” on 150 students at Pusan National University (PNU) from August 10th to 14th, with the cooperation of Yonsei Chunchu, were not significantly different. According to the survey, 83 out of 150 students (55.4%) students do not voluntarily date within PNU.
■ One out of two people are not dating voluntarily
According to the survey results, half (42) of 83 voluntary non-dating respondents cited “because there is no one I like” as the reason for not dating. In addition, 14 respondents said they could not afford to date, 10 were not interested in dating itself, and nine said they did not have someone they liked.
They were satisfied with their decision to not date voluntarily. When asked, “Are you satisfied with your current situation?” half (41) chose a positive answer (10 people said they strongly agreed, 31 said agreed). PNU Student A (Dept. of Business Administration, 21), who is not in a relationship voluntarily, said, “I am preparing for graduation and have a job ahead, so I don’t have enough time for myself. I can’t afford it, and it’s hard to meet and be considerate of the opposite sex, so I’m more comfortable alone.”
Young people often choose not to date because they have to spend more time and resources on self-development than previous generations. Lim Nang-Yeon (Prof. of Psychology, Kyungsung University) said, “People should live by distributing them to different areas appropriately with limited time and resources. It is natural that young people preparing for the future allocate their limited resources more to self-development in the atmosphere of ‘hard employment’ and ‘hard economy,’ so they focus less on romantic relationships.”
Some people feel that avoiding dates is not socially desirable. Shin Ji-Eun (Prof. of Sociology, PNU) said, “When we are isolated and solely focused on our own success, there is a concern about whether we can be seriously interested in the lives of others as members of society.”
■ Dating, it’s necessary, but...
Many young people do not voluntarily date, but PNU students still feel that “dating is necessary.” According to the survey, 102 out of 150 PNU students (49 currently dating, 35 non-dating, and 18 without dating experience) were optimistic about the need for dating. Only 48 students responded to “no need for dating” or “normal” (3 dating, 14 not dating, 16 with no dating experience).
Experts also say that dating is a necessary developmental task in early adulthood. Among the survey respondents, 96 (63.7%) out of 102 respondents who said “need for dating” said they need “to gain psychological stability and emotional support.” Prof. Lim said, “People have the most important psychological needs they want to achieve during different age groups. And they experience ‘self-realization’ when they meet their needs. In early adulthood, that desire is to find a partner, so when they are dating, they feel happy.” PNU Student B (Dept. of English Language and Literature, 22), who has been dating for three years, said, “The person closest to me who I can share my secrets with is my lover. I’m happy just looking at my lover’s face, and I’m not tired of being around her all day long.”
However, PNU students found it difficult to start dating. More than half (78) of the 150 respondents said, “It is difficult to start dating.” Students who felt it was challenging to start dating cited, “It takes a big decision to open up” (46) as the most significant reason. In addition, “because I don’t have anyone I like” (29) and “because I have few chances to meet new people” (27) were also cited as reasons for not dating. Experts cite excessive certification and flaunting culture on social media as why young people find it difficult to date. Prof. Lim said, “If young people are constantly exposed to posts they show off through SNS, they may feel pressured to use that much energy and money when dating, and dating may feel like it’s too much.”
■ The popularity of dating programs is high
The phenomenon of having difficulty in dating and not wanting to date leads to the constant popularity of dating programs. According to Wavve’s cumulative viewing data for the second quarter of 2024 (April 1st to June 30th), “My Sibling’s Romance,” a family interference dating program where siblings gather to find each other’s lovers, has set its new record by topping the list of new paid subscriptions among Wavve’s all-time entertainment shows since its first release in March.
Student Seo (Dept. of Korean Literature in Classical Chinese, 22), who enjoys dating programs, said, “I watch dating programs even though I don’t have a lover. Many exciting situations can happen in real life, so I can easily immerse myself in them, even if I don’t experience them myself.” In an earlier survey, 91 out of 150 respondents (54.1%) said they had “watched a dating program.” Of the 46 people who are voluntarily non-dating, 33 people (71.7%) said they had watched dating programs.
There is an analysis that dating programs give vicarious satisfaction to young people who find it difficult to date. Prof. Lim said, “Programs on romantic relationships have existed from the past to the present, just in different formats. Dating programs are thought to be popular because young people who are not voluntarily dating due to life and environmental pressures can enjoy the pleasure of experiencing joy, sorrow, and excitement by vicarious satisfaction when watching them.” Prof. Shin also said, “Because dating involves human relationships, young people can watch dating programs, simulate relationships, and gain insight into psychology.”
Reported Lee Bo-Young
Translated by Seo Ye-Jin